Three words: You do you

“List three words that describe you.”

I struggled with that infuriatingly vague college prompt last semester. Eyes boring into my computer screen, my mind tumbled with possible responses. Would I describe myself through the shallow familiarity of my peers who see me every day? Or would it be through the idealized view of my teachers who understand how I learn? Or maybe it would be through the eyes of my parents who always see the best of me. It seemed to me that I’m a different person to everyone.

Over the past few years, I’ve gained a lot of notoriety through my persistence in bringing social justice to the classroom. At some point last semester, I’d hear, almost daily, reports of people talking about me and my columns through whispers and text messages. People whom I’d never even met began formulating ideas of what I do and what I was like. Sue’s sensitive, reverse-racist and loud.   After a few issues passed without my columns, some people started asking me where I had gone. A few teachers curiously prompted me to answer to the disappearance of my radical columns. One told me I needed to keep writing because the progress ends when the conversation ends. I wasn’t writing because I was busy, but people already thought I was backing down. Sue’s cowardly, weak and sad.

As high school students, it’s really easy to get caught up in the conflicting expectations of peers, parents, teachers and society. It’s a human tendency to want to be perceived positively by others, and it’s a good skill to have to a certain extent. But I learned that to fully realize our potential as individuals, we need to fight that urge and live on our own terms, not bound by the limiting judgments of the people around us.

You can never please everyone. Looking back, I wasted so much time trying to make sure I met and went above everyone’s standards. But assimilating yourself to the opinions of other people will only get you tangled in a mess of expectations. Even if you manage to be seen positively by everyone, it doesn’t mean nearly as much as the value of your opinion of yourself.

Sue is independent, unapologetic and she’s still learning.