“She’s a slut,” I said about Miley Cyrus while sitting with my friend after her MTV Video Music Awards (VMA’s) performance.
My friend paused and then replied, “So what?”
Her challenge riled an immediate defense of myself, but I couldn’t articulate one. We sat in silence.
“So what?” Calling the girl a derogatory name didn’t change anything.
Negatively commenting on a woman’s sexual activity is typically labeled as “slut-shaming.” When society decides that a woman is wrong for hooking up, the implication of that affects not only our perception of her but also her ability to be comfortable doing what she chooses.
Slut-shaming is an example of how patriarchy at all levels shame women’s bodies.
It is a reminder to everyone that many people think women are inferior to men.
For example when a woman frequently hooks up, she is a “slut.” When a man does the same, he’s a “bro.”
This double standard doesn’t just happen at the high school level, either.
I doubt I have to remind you about the “Blurred Lines” and “We Can’t Stop” duet at this year’s VMA’s. Needless to say, Robin Thicke’s gyration on a 20-year-old was more than not okay— he’s a 36-year-old married man with a child. But when examining the reaction to said performance on various social media websites, this double standard becomes very apparent. There were a slew of tweets and statuses about how disgusting Cyrus’s performance was, while Robin Thicke, who performed a sexist song about the “Blurred Lines” of a woman’s absence of consent to have sex with him, was largely ignored.
Perhaps you’re thinking, “But I have called a boy a ‘man-whore,’ so there is no double standard.”
Do you see it? It’s right there. The word “man” in front of the word “whore?” The necessity of “man” to precede the latter part of the phrase proves there is something inherently feminine about being a “whore.”
Our language affects everyone around us, but still some people insist on using sexist discourse.
While talking to an adult about this topic, he told me that slut-shaming is necessary to prevent situations like getting pregnant and acquiring Sexually Transmitted Infections.
If that’s true, then our society would also ridicule men for being sexually promiscuous. I’m not saying that such behavior is a responsible option, but calling someone a “slut” doesn’t prevent those actions and thus removing that word from our daily dialogue would not encourage it either.
Stop shaming women just because their level of comfort doesn’t match yours. Whether you think a woman is super sexually active or you’re just using the word because you couldn’t think of a better insult, remove “slut” and “whore” from your vocabulary and don’t buy into the stigma of sexual promiscuity. The next time you hear the familiar S, L and U slip from your mouth, stop and ask yourself, “So what?”
You’ll find a convincing answer in the silence that follows.