I remember pretending to be shy and reserved with a lilting, soft and inaccurate “Asian” accent as my friend egged me on with her giggles. I remember my friend pulling her eyes into slits and asking if I couldn’t see well because my eyes were so small. I remember laughing along and ignoring the uneasy feeling in my stomach.

Along with many other first-generation and second-generation Asian immigrants, for most of my life, I lived with internalized racism. Internalized racism pushes people of color to stereotype themselves as a way of gaining “acceptance” from white people. Internalized racism feeds off insecurities caused by distinct racial features, like my small “Asian” eyes. This internalized racism that created insecurities caused me to make jokes about my own people, and, as a result, detach myself from them and scorn them.

In the modern age, racism is not always presented upfront. If someone said he or she hated Asian people, everyone would alienate him or her. However, racism creeps into everyday life through jokes. It comes in the forms of “Indians work at 7-Eleven” and “there are too many Asians in my class.” The racism is hidden in jokes that make people of color feel uncomfortable, but afraid to speak out and ruin the fun.

Racist jokes are humorless and are a subcategory of microaggressions. Microaggressions are little things that are racist and bother people but are too small to point out. This can be applied to not only ethnic minorities, but also to religious minorities and marginalized genders and sexualities.

These jokes contribute to systems already in place that put down minorities. By perpetuating a stereotype through a joke, you enforce it in the minds of listeners. So, no, it’s not “just a joke.” The racist undertones accumulate over time as people continue to joke around until it’s no longer a joke, and what’s left is only racism.

It’s a luxury of white privilege to say that racist sentiments are only jokes. Being able to distance yourself from race is something that only white people can do because for people of color, racial microaggressions affect their lives every day.

Just because your Chinese friend says it’s okay to mock the foreign accents of other races doesn’t mean that every Chinese person thinks it’s an okay thing to do. Many people who are affected and offended by microaggressions are too afraid to speak out against them for the potential consequences of looking “lame” in the eyes of their white peers. Like me, some might even be doing it and still feel uncomfortable about it on the inside.

I have contributed to the problem in the past. However, I have educated myself and learned from my mistake. We all do problematic things, but we should be aware and correct our actions when we are wrong, regardless of whether we meant to offend anyone. So next time, think twice before making jokes about the customs or accents of another race. It’s all fun that ends with racist institutions benefitting from ignorant people