The features editors asked me to write a column about why the SAC should be all-inclusive. They know I am an expert on the topic because I wrote about it last year. They also know the seniors last year demoralized me and hurt my feelings, but I am a senior now, and while I may still be a very fragile and sensitive person, there is no one left to pick on me (except for my sister, but she doesn’t go here anymore).

Juniors and seniors who insist on having the SAC to themselves are comparable to the cliche movie bully who acts tough but is actually sensitive and hasn’t been taught how to properly love. Think of the bully from “Karate Kid.” Or Vicky in “The Fairly OddParents.” Or Regina George.

What have seniors done to deserve the SAC? We have aged. Fine cheeses also age, and that doesn’t make fine cheeses more deserving of the SAC than underclassmen. We should not be bullies, and it is time that we let everyone sit on a couch.

Editor’s Note: We apologize for omitting the argument in favor of excluding underclassmen from the SAC. For days, members of the Torch staff tried to argue why the SAC should be exclusive. An article was written, but we realized arguing for an exclusive SAC goes against our ethics as a newspaper and as people.

We apologize for not providing another column, but we do not apologize for our ethics and standards. There was simply no argument to be made.