You’re going to be alone

Keena Du, Executive Opinions Editor

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Graphic by Zoe Bendoff

Actually, I’m the one who’s alone now. After sending my two older siblings off to college, I’ve noticed certain dynamics of my life shift with each end-of-the-summer farewell. Here’s what happens when your sibling(s) leave for college:

1. In the weeks prior to their departure, you will be forced to watch your mother bring home a seemingly infinite supply of snacks and ramen noodle packages, of which you cannot have any.

2. In the days prior to their departure, you will be drafted to help fold their clothing and make important decisions about whether or not a seventh hoodie or a third pair of sneakers is considered “excessive.”

3. They will constantly be scrutinizing your clothing to figure out whether or not that item is yours or theirs, possibly by searching for a distinguishing stain or hole in the fabric to point out as evidence if an argument ensues. (If this is the case, get dramatic and insist that you only kept their clothing as a token — “Something to remember you by!”)

4. You will hear this from everyone you know: “You’re going to be all alone now!” All. The. Time.

5. After you say your goodbyes, be prepared to comfort your teary-eyed parents on the drive back.

6. Prepare to shed a few tears yourself.

7. At least now you don’t have to worry about anyone else eating the chips you like!

8. Feel free to explore your sibling’s room. Now’s your chance!

9. After a week or two of this new excitement, during which your sibling will be calling and video chatting home on practically a daily basis, the dust will start to settle differently than it had before everything was shaken up.

10. You realize: You’re going to be all alone now. All. The. Time.

11. School starts, and life gets busy. Sometimes your sibling will call, sometimes they’ll text your concerned parents with updates. Sometimes you will miss their calls.

12. Unfortunately, being the last kid at home also means you’ll get all the attention from your parents. Basically, you’ll get in trouble for more stuff because they’ll be more focused on you.

13. And you’re the only one left to help your parents compose texts or teach them how to open a new tab on the computer.

14. Your mom wants to save restaurant outings for when your sibling comes home. But by then, they’ll have had so much food from campus restaurants and dining halls that all they’ll want is “a nice, home-cooked meal.” Ugh.

15. That’s okay — it’s nice to see them home.

16. There’s no one at home to appreciate your AMAZING sense of humor. Or sarcasm.

17. Because your sibling is telling you about everything that was left unappreciated back home, you have plenty of time to appreciate that there’s a stove available to you at all times, you have an abundance of clothes since you didn’t have to selectively pack and you don’t have to share the bathroom with anyone! Amen to that.

20. It’s easy to miss out while you’re missing someone, but it’s time to embrace your new independence: You’re going to be all alone now. Make the most of it.

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You’re going to be alone