Dear Sydney,

If you are anything like how I remember, you are probably sitting in the Math Resource Center, skipping lunch and cramming for a test you have next block (even though you already spent five hours last night studying.) Stop it. Go down to the cafeteria, buy some greasy Bosco Sticks and laugh with your friends. After all, you are only a freshman once. There are so many things I want to teach you, but I must pick my battles carefully in this letter. Some things you will just have to learn on your own. For now, here are the three most important ideas I want you to carry throughout high school:

1. Accept failure and move forward. Over the next four years, you will come to realize success does not mean perfection. A 5.0 GPA and a 36 on your ACT are not going to happen. You will fail multiple Chinese tests. You will not get into every college to which you apply. But guess what? That is okay. Being perfect is simply an illusion. The lessons you will learn from failure are extremely important. While it is essential to work diligently, understand that life will move on and you should too. Remember that life is not about numbers. Your GPA does not define you, your ACT score does not define you and the ranking of your college does not define you.

2. Spend time with yourself. In order to understand and develop relationships with others, you must first be comfortable with yourself. You soon realize the parties so many people long for in high school are not your cup of tea (or coffee, for your purpose.) While you struggle to find your group of friends, you learn to accept that having a core group of friends will never be your “thing.” Instead, you find meaningful friendships from different activities and classes. However, do not be afraid to spend some weekends lounging in bed, curled up with a good book or show on Netflix. There is nothing more empowering than independence.

3. Ask for help. Whether it is for math homework or relationship advice, understand that you cannot handle everything. You confront challenging battles that many in school do not know about. You keep secrets about your life in fear that others will judge you. Again, your perfectionism stands in the way.  Keep in mind what you learned your junior year from a wise mentor: “Whether you break your foot or stub your toe, you still have the right to say ouch.” Stop thinking that accepting help is a sign of weakness and use this help to make you a better person.

Enjoy yourself. Have fun, work hard and appreciate all that you have been given. High school is a wild ride, but I am confident you will make the most of it.

Love, Sydney