My heart is racing as the waiter approaches our table. My eyes are glued to the menu as it shakes in my hands. With one look at my furrowed brows he says, “I’ll come back in a minute,” and promptly turns to help the next table.

Sweet and savory are facing off in the boxing ring. In one corner, we have the ferocious  Rocky Mountain skillet with scrambled eggs, no mushroom. In the other corner, the mighty crepes with chocolate chips, whipped cream and strawberries. Who will be victorious in this showdown? Not even breakfast experts can predict this win.

Time is running out.

It’s the evening of March 31st, exactly a month until a college decision has to be made. By me. For the past few weeks, I’ve been bouncing back and forth, changing my mind every 24 hours. Unable to decide for myself, I let fate take control with a mere flip of a coin. Heads or tails? The quarter somersaults through the air and, believe it or not, lands on neither heads nor tails, but on its side.

A decision must be made.

It’s junior year, and I’m in the midst of the application process for senior year Torch positions. Lacking self-confidence in my capabilities as a writer and a leader, I refrain from applying to be Editor-in-Chief. I’m afraid of taking risks because the outcome is unpredictable. I don’t want to cause the Torch to burn and crumble into nothing but ash. But after constant pep talks and reality checks with my friends and other mentors, I find myself jumping out of my comfort zone and applying for the “head-honcho” position. Throughout this process, I constantly debate whether or not I should stick with the choice that scares me most. Moments before the application deadline, I make a decision.

And decisions are hard to make.

I can never fully commit to something without considering the pros and the cons, the future and everything that could possibly go downhill. Being thorough in my decision-making process has fueled my fear of choosing incorrectly because no choice ends up being good enough. One wrong call could cause something to fall apart. No one wants to be the reason something fails, whether you are the pitcher of the baseball team, the lead in the play, or in my case, the editor of the paper. But if no one takes action, we lose the ability to make progress and we return to a constant state of debate and indecisiveness.

Throughout my senior year, I have learned the importance of being able to make a decision. As high school students we are faced with the responsibility of choosing our paths. The immense amount of pressure to do so can be unbearable at times, but we all need to make a choice eventually, whether we like it or not. Indecisiveness is conquered by taking risks, using the help around you, and in the end, your gut feeling. We have the opportunity to take control. We can’t toggle back and forth, we can’t let the fates decide and we can’t let two ideas fight it out. We have to be the ones to make the call.

“Can I get the crepes with chocolate chips, whipped cream and strawberries, please?”

I committed to Gustavus Adolphus College.

I spent this year as Editor-in-Chief. Now it’s time to pass the torch.