A woman shows me tickets on her phone for our holiday light show at work, except they don’t look like any of the tickets I’ve seen before. Instead of the typical barcode, she has a QR code displayed on a random website. Clearly, these tickets are fake.

I pull my scarf below my mouth and say, “These tickets aren’t from our website. I think you’ve been scammed.”

“But I paid $74 for these tickets,” she retorts.

“Okay, I’m going to send you to the customer service booth. They can help you there.”

She scoffs and walks away. Instead of going to the customer service booth, she heads towards the entrance of the light show and tries to enter without paying for new tickets. I’m about to call out to her, but then my coworker opens the door to the customer service booth and gets her attention. Contemptuously, she turns around and purchases the real tickets, which were another $74. 

Too often, people, like the woman I encountered at work, don’t know when or how to take responsibility for their actions. For students, this can look like blaming a teacher when we don’t do our homework or complaining about being tired when we don’t go to bed on time. When we don’t take personal responsibility, there’s no way for us to learn from our mistakes and foster personal growth. Yes, it’s hard to own up to our shortcomings, but it’s necessary to recognize when we’re wrong. 

Of course, there may be situations where we truly feel we’re in the right. For example, sometimes we accidentally hurt others’ feelings when we’re trying to be honest and helpful. In situations like these, there could be a difference in opinion and values or a miscommunication, and it’s best to talk with the other person to find a solution. By doing so, it’s likely we’ll learn something from each other.

But when we know we’re in the wrong, there’s no use in trying to attribute our behavior to someone or something else. Saying “I’m sorry” or acknowledging we made a mistake is a simple way to take responsibility. And when we’re able to take accountability for our actions once, it’s easier to do it again in the future. 

If we want to grow as people, we must examine our excuses before we say them. Even though $74 may seem like a high price to pay to take personal responsibility, going through life refusing to do so incites an even bigger cost.