It was the skirt. The perfect skirt. I had bought it a week before going on my trip to New York City and couldn’t wait to wear it on a summer day like today. As I walk across the scorching city sidewalk, I hear a voice, but I can’t tell where it’s coming from.
“Hey,” the voice calls.
“Hey,” it calls again, this time more urgent. I keep walking, thinking the voice is talking to someone else.
“Pretty girl! Look up here!”
I follow the sound until I settle on its source. Two middle-aged men in a pickup truck are stopped at a red light near me. As soon as I look up, they whistle. Oh. They’re talking to me.
“Wanna marry me? Oh, please marry me!”
My smile fades as I realize. I’m being catcalled.
The light turns green, the truck zooms off and my gaze falls down to my black shirt and plaid skirt.
It was the skirt. Two inches shorter than my typical ones, that’s what must’ve provoked them. I shouldn’t have worn it. I shouldn’t have worn the perfect skirt.
Looking back at this experience, I’m surprised that my first thought was about my clothes. Why did I think being catcalled was the result of my appearance? But then I remembered what I learned during the self-defense unit in P.E. class last year. I was taught that what people wear may increase their risk of getting attacked. I was told wearing my hair in a bun would be easy for a predator to grab.
I remember asking, “Should I wear my hair in a ponytail?”
“No, that can be grabbed too.”
“Should I wear my hair down?”
“No, that can be grabbed too.”
I left class that day thinking an attack is nearly impossible to prevent when someone has a woman’s body.
The self-defense curriculum is taught to both freshman boys and girls and is the same regardless of gender. All students need to learn self-defense, so I’m glad the curriculum is identical.
But although the content is intended to be the same, there are significant differences in how it’s taught to boys as opposed to girls. Boys didn’t learn not to put their hair in a bun or a ponytail. And while girls were told to extend their arms in front of them and say “stop” when being attacked, boys were taught physical defense techniques. Both groups were taught how to de-escalate dangerous situations, but boys also practiced blocking punches, using correct defensive positions and defending themselves against other students.
Eighty two percent of sexual abuse victims under the age of 18 are girls, according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, which is why it’s especially necessary for girls to learn self-defense. It’s not okay for there to be a pattern of inequity between boys’ and girls’ experiences in the self-defense unit. It’s not okay to let gender dictate the way the curriculum is taught.
I couldn’t have prevented being catcalled. The P.E. Department can’t prevent who will be in danger and who won’t. But it can enforce that students are educated equally in hopes of a safer future.
Protect students’ safety. Protect students’ lives. Most importantly, remember, “students” includes girls too.